How do you love a woman who wont love you back?

My ex and I just got back together before i left for afghanistan 8 months ago and things were a little rocky and needed work but we knew that it would be that way at first. A little history, we were together for 3 years until last year before i left for afghan we were having allot of trouble, 2 weeks after i was out there she says she wants and break and no talking about us, it devastated me and she talked constantly about not getting back together, i thought it was over for us and she stopped talking to me which is hard on someone in a war zone. I got with a girl for 2 weeks out there who told me to just forget my ex and start over but i could not stop thinking about her, i broke up with that girl. Right after that my ex started talking to me again and said she was sorry for everything and that she loved me and wanted only me, she had gotten into my email and found out that i had a short fling out there and said that it tore her apart and she couldn't stand it. things were great on the phone and all and she had been back east at her brothers the whole time and we lived on the west coast so she promised that she would be there when i got home. We have at the time a 1 yr old daughter and she had driven my car while i was gone which was fine but she had to drive back to our home and in reno the car broke down, luckily for us her mom lives there. I got home from afghan and she was still stuck in reno but the car was getting repaired, after the repairs she started home and that night while she was driving home i got the worst news of my life on the way home she had married a long time friend of hers(actually an ex boyfriend who she had been talking to the whole time) and was just coming to drop off my car and let me visit my daughter for a week and then head back east and wait for her husband to come back from over seas. when she got there, there was a lot of crying for both of us, i was delirious i could not eat or sleep, before she left she displayed feelings for me and that she still loved me but was now commited to her new husband but then she did somthing weird, she had with me right before she left after 2 weeks of being there. For a whole month i never left my bed, i was a hot mess. after my friends made me get out again i met someone else and for 7 months i saw this person and even had them move in and i even felt like i could love this person but i could not stop thinking about my ex and i still loved her. we talked all the time like we used to, after a visit by her husband at thanksgiving she started talking about maybe coming back and that she didn't want to be with him anymore because she had made a mistake. then i did something bad, i broke up with the girl i was with witch was terrible for me to do but i felt i had to since staying with her would be lying to her and wrong. my ex came back just before i had to go to afghan again and i had my doubts about weather she would be there when i got back, now im back and shes still here, she stayed but while i was gone she has become cold, wont love me back, sometimes affectionate and when she wants comes to me but like in the days before she left will cry afterwords, says i cant please her but other women have no problem with my lovemaking so it cant be all me. I love her and my daughter deeply, before i came home she has been talking about "if" we didn't stay together she should start planning on what she should do and its not like her, she has always been a spontaneous person and doesn't plan anything but now she does? openly talking about leaving me makes me believe that she has already decided to leave and has made up her mind and is just biding her time until the right moment. I think she still loves me but does not think im right for her and wont tell me until its too late. I would do anything for her but witdidnt commitment from her and her no wish to resolve any of our problems i feel like this is done but there has to be something i can do, or say besides that i losimplerecause right now i dont think she deserves my love or anything else from me until i get that. sorry this is long, thank you for reading it though since it is complicated but maybe simpiler than i think